somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
