Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The air was thick with penises
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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