Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
