She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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