I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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