My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we're making bets on your personal life
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Text me some of your sweat
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