next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
