I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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