Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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