I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
