A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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