Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
