remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
