I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
