I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
