So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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