Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
