i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
40s are totally the cure
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
