Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize