if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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