sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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