he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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