quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
