you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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