My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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