I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
