Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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