Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
