Life is so much better after having sex.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
