My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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