people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize