Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
