he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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