if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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