Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
