The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
