i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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