Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
