It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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