My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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