Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
