i just made my gag reflex go away.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
