Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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