Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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