He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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