The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
