Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
