So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
