How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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