So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
