Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Fuck appropriateness.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
