Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
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just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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