I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
