Why are handjobs necessary in class?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
