i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
