I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
