so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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