There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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