Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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