Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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