Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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