when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
