he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize