i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
