And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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