If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
