The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
