Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize