Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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