It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
