He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
