The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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